What do math proofs have to do with retail?

I had Induction training at Beales today. It was alright I suppose.

It started out amusingly enough. It was to start at 9:30 and I got there at 25 minutes after (so hardly early), but I was the first to arrive. There were eleven scheduled to attend - I was not on the list for some reason, but that didn't really matter, especially as there ended up being only nine of us anyway.

We were an odd mix for sure; the oddest group I've ever been a part of. Most of the people there were in their thirties, and I was the only non-Brit. There was a sixteen year old boy (who just finished high school last June), and there were two people who looked to be in their sixties. Also I seemed to be the only one who hadn't already started actual work at the store. Everyone else had employee numbers and name badges and had met all of the important staff. This was made embarrassingly clear during the meet-and-greet portion.

The assistant human resourses lady who ran the meeting, Jenn, was in her late twenties and quite attractive. I mention this only because it made for endless amusement as the sixteen year old boy kept trying to flirt with her.

The first hour of the morning was spent going over boring company protocol and mission statements and store history, and all of that nonesense. The typical stuff I've heard a dozen times before. The history sections were somewhat interesting: The store I'll be working at was the first Beales store. J. M. Beale, the founder of the company, was later a mayor of Bournemouth. Beales is 125 years old next month. This store was blown up during the second world war and had to be rebuild in the fifties.

For the most part this was bearable, except that one midaged lady, Clare, kept interupting the Power Point presentation (Power Point, I know) and interjecting her own personal stories. All of these stories sucked. All of the stories drew attention to the fact that she is the new manager of a concession area for LV (some womens clothing line, I presume). And all of the stories mentioned how she had spent the last three days in Swansea (which I now know is a city in Wales).

By the time we had reached Clare's eighth or ninth pointless story, we had processed to a sales orientation with some other lady. Her job was to teach us all how to sell stuff. Not in detail, or in specifics. But she talked to us as if the concept of selling items was a foreign idea. Honestly! I was the second youngest person in the room, and by the way most of the others acted and talked - and based upon the positions they now held at the store - three of them were new department managers - I was probably the second poorest qualified person in the room too. And I learned nothing new.

It was the worst hour and a half of my entire professional career life. At one point (Clare was telling another pointless story) I was seriously contemplating walking out. I could find another job - no problem - I supposed. I don't really like retail anyway. The only thing that kept me there was that the thirty-something black lady in front of me - the professional who is now the manager of the lingerie department - turned around during Clare's babbling, looked right at me, and made a funny face. Honestly. I almost burst out laughing, right then and there. She made it quite obvious that she didn't give two licks about Clare either, and was also quite bored. Then the sixty-ish lady next to me smiled and gave a nod assuring us that she left the same way.

Following the sales discertation, we had a fifteen minute break while Jenn tried to find the next presenter. Immediately Clare seized this as an opportunity to start up about the hotel she stayed at in Swansea, but she only got five words out when the lingerie manager loudly asked me want Canada was like. I resonded loudly, and inside of twenty seconds no one was listen to Clare - except Clare. I kdi myself to think everyone was as interested in what I had to say as they seemed - most, I'm sure, just say it as an opportunity to ignore Clare - but the break-long chat about Canada (and other foreign countries) really re-energized my interest in working at the store.

Following the break we had a safety meeting by way of another Power Point presentation. This was much more enjoyable do to sheer comic content. The presenter, Jason, is the head of the store's Health and Safety Commitee. He's in his early forties, and he doesn't understand computers. During one spot of technical difficulties the sixteen-year-old gratitously offered to go and find Jenn. then, without waiting for a reply form anyone, just up and ran out of the room. Once we got back on way and Jason is fighting his way through pages illustrating warning labels, he decides "bollocks to the computer". So he just tells us what to do if the store catches fire (leave the customers and go meet at McDonalds) or if there's a bomb threat (leave the customers and go hide in the sub-basement - the only part of the store to survive WWII).

Then Jason gives us a quick tour of the store (we skip the floor that Clare will be working on because Jason insists that there is nothing worth viewing on it) and tells us we can go home because he's going for a smoke break to fill up the final ten minutes he's supposed to be talking to us.

So I get to go home and watch "King of Queens" (the only thing on televison that's not British, and therefore, by defalt, the only thing decent on). No a bad end to a training day in my opinion.